This weeks musings……..thinking about a Steve Biddulph quote and thoughts arising within me
I have dipped into a new book this week that has really struck a chord with me. My highlighter and post it notes have been covering the pages as I read it. The book is called ‘Wild Creature Mind’ by Steve Biddulph. Steve is an Englishman who has lived and worked his whole life in Australia. When my children were young I came across him and have trusted his wisdom and experience since then. This latest book is, in my opinion, his best yet. He speaks directly to us and we even have a name as he refers to us time and again as ‘dear reader’. It is as if he has distilled all of his what he knows about being human in this life and poured it into the pages. He is of an age that he can reflect on and draw on his decades of life experience. He reminds me of the wise father type figure, flawed as we all are and so so human, doing our best and beginning again every day. Plus he brings the latest neuroscience too, which is important to me as I have even more confidence in him.
The sliver of words I have been day dreaming about (and find it returning to my mind again and again) are “human beings are designed to progress and grow – wiser, more loving, more alive. We have an inbuilt momentum, just as a tree wants to grow ‘up’, we want to ‘go’ forward in our lives, to learn and explore. It hurts to be blocked or going in circles. In fact, this is the heart of despair - the pain we feel to not have a way forward."
This profound quote captures the essence of human nature and our intrinsic drive towards growth and progress. So, I have been thinking about the meaning of this and how it resonates in life.
The Natural Drive for Growth
From the moment we are born, we are on a journey of continuous growth. Just as a tree instinctively reaches for the sky, we too are wired to move forward, to seek new experiences, and to expand our horizons. This drive is not just about physical growth but encompasses our emotional, intellectual, and spiritual development. This is a part of our journey at the various and many stages we grow through….our younger selves, the teenage years and all the various parts of us that are here in our growth as adults….we are always ‘going’ forward, it is an instinct within each of us.
Becoming Wiser and More Loving
As we navigate our life, every experience, whether joyful or challenging, contributes to our wisdom. We learn from our successes and our mistakes, two sides of the same coin, each lesson making us a bit more ‘us’. This wisdom often translates into a deeper capacity for love and empathy. We become more understanding and compassionate, not just towards others but also towards ourselves. This is becoming clearer to me as I grow in this middle stage of my life, I find it wonderful to offer myself the balm of compassion in many of the everyday moments as I continue to recognise and replace with love, a harsher self voice.
The balm of self compassion is a wonder!
The Pain of Stagnation
However, there are times when we all feel stuck. Unable to move forward. This stagnation can be incredibly painful. It feels like being trapped in a loop, where every effort to break free can seem futile. This is the heart of despair – the agony of feeling blocked, of not seeing a way forward. It's a reminder of how essential hope and a glimpse of a way through is to our being well.
Finding a Way Forward
When we find ourselves in such a state, it's crucial to remember that this feeling of being stuck is temporary, ‘this too shall pass’ can be a beautiful mantra and a phrase we can repeat to ourselves in times of despair. Just as a tree may face obstacles but eventually finds a way to grow around them, we too can find our path. It might require patience, resilience, and sometimes a change in perspective, but there is always a way forward.
Embracing the Journey
Ultimately, the journey of growth is most definitely never a straight line. It's filled with twists and turns, ups and downs, zigs and zags. Embracing this journey means accepting that progress can be slow and that setbacks are a natural part of life. By slowing down, staying committed to our growth and trusting our own ‘next step’, we honor our natural momentum and continue to evolve into wiser, more loving, and more alive beings.
For me, Steve Biddulph’s beautiful words encapsulate the essence of our human experience. It reminds me that growth is our natural state and that even in moments of despair, there is always a way forward.
Feeling stuck can be incredibly frustrating, but there are several things that can help us to explore and shift this feeling, to go forward….
1. Reflect and Identify: Take some time to reflect on what exactly is making you feel stuck. Is it a specific situation, a lack of motivation, or something else?
- Take a small step, move forward in a direction that serves you.
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Seek Support: Do reach out to friends, family, or mentors for advice and support. Sometimes, an outside perspective can offer new insights and solutions. Us therapists welcome you, our doors and hearts are open to supporting you in your life journey.
4. Change Your Environment: A change of scenery can do wonders for your mindset. Whether it's rearranging your bedroom, workspace or taking a walk outside, a new environment can help you think more clearly.
5. Bring something beautiful to your mind; The poet John O’Donohue spoke of the power of finding something that is beautiful to you and tucking it away in your mind so that it is always there for you and at all times you can bring it to mind. Your imagination is your only limit (and your best friend). Having something beautiful in our mind can inspire us to become unstuck and offer another avenue that may not have occurred to us.
Thanks for reading.
Dear Reader......go gently 😊